If you've ever tried meditating, you may share this experience I've had of realizing I’m lost in thought, and then immediately giving myself a proverbial slap on the wrist: Why can't you focus? You're supposed to be meditating! Man, you're so bad at this. You're never going to achieve inner peace.
Going around this little shame-filled merry-go-round again and again does not exactly make meditation a serene or appealing activity.
But I discovered a little tool that I started using last month when I went on a 4-day virtual meditation retreat. When I catch my mind wandering or ruminating, I immediately respond with a cheerful “Welcome back!” I greet myself as if I were greeting a beloved friend who's returned from a visit. This phrase helps me feel like it's a celebration to be back here, in the room, in my body, in the present moment. It interrupts that barrage of self-criticism and even helps diffuse the negative energy around it. It reminds me that I can be kind to myself.
So, I share that little nugget here with you. What little phrases or tools do you have for interrupting the shame spiral? Come share yours with community members in Mother Den!
Danielle LaSusa Ph.D. is a Philosophical Coach, helping new moms grapple with what it means to make a person. She is the co-creater and co-host of Think Hard podcast, which brings fun, accessible, philosophical thinking to the real world. To join her mailing list, subscribe here.
© Copyright Danielle LaSusa PhD, LCC, 2020. All rights reserved.
