Mothers’ Grief Retreat

May 3-5, 2024

Gleneden Beach on the Oregon Coast

Motherhood comes with incredible gains: new experiences, new relationships, new love. But it also comes with deeply painful losses. Loss of freedom, loss of time, loss of the way your relationships used to be, loss of the ideal motherhood fantasy, loss of your old self.

We must grieve these losses. There aren’t a lot of places for moms to let ourselves fully feel this pain—like, ugly cry about it—and know that we will be held, seen, accepted.

Mothers’ Grief Retreat is that place.

Grief Wants to be Witnessed

As a culture, we tell ourselves that “grief” is a word that only applies when someone we love has died. But, grief is part of everyday life, particularly when we are mothers.

When my daughter was born, I grieved that I did not have the birth I had hoped for. I grieved over the loss of my freedom, the change in my marriage, the shift in my identity. I grieved over all the things I wanted to do that I was now certain would never happen—or at least not for many years. I grieved over how quickly my baby grew and changed. I grieved over my troubled relationship with my own mother. I grieved over how fragile and temporary all life is. I grieved, and I grieved, and I grieved. And, in those early days, I did most of it alone.

Many of us don’t have a great relationship with grief. We ignore it completely or fear it will swallow us whole. We believe we must grieve alone, in the dark.

But, I have learned that if we come together to witness one another in our grief, that pain can become a gateway to a deeply powerful and beautiful human experience. We allow ourselves to feel more joy, more connection, more presence.

Grief is a radical emotion and letting ourselves feel it in the presence of others is a revolutionary act—particularly when it is about motherhood, something that is “supposed” to be wholly positive.

As psychotherapist Francis Weller says,

“Grief is alive, wild, untamed; it cannot be domesticated. It resists the demands to be passive and still. We move in jangled, unsettled, and riotous ways when grief takes hold of us. It is truly an emotion that rises from the soul.”

Whether you’ve just given birth to your first child, or you have teenagers who are getting ready to leave the house, the grief of motherhood always seems to have new faces.

At Mothers’ Grief Retreat, we welcome them all.

Why I Created Mothers’ Grief Retreat

In summer of 2021, I wrote an email to some friends asking “Come scream at the ocean with me?” After a year plus of lockdown with a four/five-year-old, I was newly vaccinated and I wanted to wail, gnash teeth, throw things. A Primal Scream.

I had just read Francis Weller’s incredible book The Wild Edge of Sorrow and attended an online weekend training with Weller to learn about rituals of grief.

So, I took my new tools and six willing, if not slightly nervous, friends to the Oregon Coast for a “Grief Weekend.” We journaled, shared, and did a ritual involving stones, a bowl of water, and three and half hours of tears. And then, yes, we screamed at the ocean and danced on the beach.

It was one of the most important and beautiful experiences of my life.

Before we’d even packed up, my friends started asking: “So when are you going to start doing these for the public? People need this.” I knew then that I’d hit on something.

I knew I wanted to do this retreat for mothers.

So, after a second Grief Retreat with my friends this past summer, with some tweaks to the schedule and activities, and a new phase in the pandemic that allows us to gather more freely, I am ready to bring this retreat public.

I hope you’re ready too.

What We’ll Do

• Opening and closing circles

• A shrine of objects to hold our grief

• Journal prompts and sharing

• Guided visualization and meditation

• Partnered listening

• Expressive movement

• A sacred Grief Ritual

• Celebration and dancing on the beach

• Shared meals and laughter

• Down time to rest, walk on the beach, hang out in the hot tub

What Else is Included

• 5 nourishing plant-based meals and snacks prepared by nutritionist, personal-chef, and fellow retreat participant Cassie Larson

• A 30-minute Zoom session with me before the retreat to prepare

• An ongoing closed, private online group in Mother Den, my online community, for both before and after the retreat to stay in touch with retreat participants

The witnessing and holding of one another’s grief is a gateway to beauty, to joy, to the recognition of our wholeness.

Let your Motherhood grief be held.

You don’t have to do it alone.

Contact Danielle at daniellelasusa@gmail.com with questions or concerns.