I chose “Gratitude” as my word for 2022, but, the truth is that I kind of hate the word. When I hear it, I feel a tightening, an inner eye roll that pushes against the Evangelical, Chicken Soup for the Soul sappiness of my youth. Deeper inside, I hear an echo saying “you’re so ungrateful,” followed by a shameful sense that I’m a selfish, privileged, spoiled brat.
Nevertheless, I chose the word “gratitude” as my theme for this year because I want to work with these feelings and make a shift. I’ve been incredibly fortunate in these last few pandemic years, and let’s be honest, for my entire life. But the white supremacist, capitalist addiction to achieve and have more, bigger, better has me focused on what I am lacking, rather than what I have.
Frankly, that attitude feels pretty insulting, not only to those who, willingly or unwillingly, have helped provide me this cushy existence, but also to the exquisite beauty of life itself. Because, although life can be incredibly cruel and painful, it also gives many opportunities for delight, pleasure, connection, love, wonder and joy. To ignore that beauty is to not see the whole truth.
I’m turning forty years old in 2022, and as I think about my remaining days, I want to more often feel the soft warmth of life-affirming gratitude. Not only will this shift benefit me, but it will give me deeper capacity to engage with others’ pain, to meet the world’s problems from a place of worthiness and love, to consume less and give more, and to use the resources and skills I have to serve the magnificent beings with whom my existence is shared.
What’s your relationship to gratitude? Do you, like me, find it hard to engage with feeling grateful? Contact me or share your answer in the Mother Den community.
Danielle LaSusa Ph.D. is a Philosophical Coach, helping new moms grapple with what it means to make a person. She is the creator of The Meaning of Motherhood course, and co-creator and co-host of Think Hard podcast, which brings fun, accessible, philosophical thinking to the real world. To join her mailing list, subscribe here.
© Copyright Danielle LaSusa PhD, LCC, 2021. All rights reserved.
