In 2021, I finally did an exercise that I’ve been asking my clients to do for years, and the outcome surprised me. The exercise is to choose your top two core values from this list from Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead. As I tell my clients, there are plenty of great, important values here, but the task is choose the two that can act as touchstones, anchors, that you can return to again and again to guide your decisions and actions.
I always knew I valued wisdom—after all, “philosopher” means “lover of wisdom”—and, as I thought about all the values that were important to me, I realized that my definition of wisdom had broadened to include not only thoughtfulness, reflection, and critical thinking, but also the wisdom of the body, of the natural world, of the ineffable understanding of lived experience, and all the love, pain, beauty, grief, and compassion there. But the real surprise was the second value I settled on.
At the end of 2020, I chose a theme or word for the new year, as I’ve been doing for the last few years, and my word for 2021 was “Courage.” I wanted to do some big things in 2021, and I had the intuition that I would need a big whopping dose of courage to do them. I was right.
Within the first couple of weeks of January, I had to summon courage when I told the editor at the New York Times that the final revision of my essay was done and ready to be published. I called upon courage when I shared with my sister some difficult and painful emotions from our childhood and listened to hers; when I waved goodbye to my masked five-year-old on her first day of pandemic kindergarten; when, just a few weeks ago, I sent the first draft of manuscript of my memoir to a literary agent for feedback. (And I even needed a little courage to tell you about that last one.)
Choosing courage as my theme for 2021 made me realize how important of a value it is to me and how much I need it if I am going to live the full expression of my being in this world.
So there you are: My two core values are wisdom and courage. It’s a toss up between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. (Maybe you all can be my Sorting Hat: Which house would you put me in?)
Next month I’ll share with you my word for 2022, but until then, please tell me your words or themes for 2021 and 2022. Did you have one for this year? What was it? How did it serve you? Have you chosen a word or theme for next year? What is it?
Just respond to this email and I’ll get your reply, or even better, share your answer in my free online community, Mother Den, and see others’ answers.
Danielle LaSusa Ph.D. is a Philosophical Coach, helping new moms grapple with what it means to make a person. She is the creator of The Meaning of Motherhood course, and co-creator and co-host of Think Hard podcast, which brings fun, accessible, philosophical thinking to the real world. To join her mailing list, subscribe here.
© Copyright Danielle LaSusa PhD, LCC, 2021. All rights reserved.
