I am three weeks into a four-week “digital fast,” in which I stay completely off social media and refrain from consuming all audio and video streaming content, with few exceptions. (For all you sticklers, I’ve allowed myself music, exercise videos, and one hour a week to watch TV with my family.) This is my third such break from digital consumption I’ve taken this year. And it’s really helped me connect with my 2023 theme of Truth.
I was inspired to try this digital detox after returning from a week-long meditation retreat in late 2022. Before then, reducing screen time was something I felt like I should do. As I zoned out on TikTok, there was always this voice chattering in my head saying, You know, this isn’t good for you. You really should pay more attention to your kid. You’re wasting your time by lining tech bro pockets.
And so I felt bad about myself and all the streaming content, but, honestly, I didn’t really want to stop. I mean, it’s the internet. It has so many things. You get it.
But something shifted for me after that meditation retreat. After a week of just being with myself—even through meals, chores, and of course, hours of sitting—I stopped thinking of reducing my screen time as something that I should do in order to be a “better person.” Instead, I started to think of it as something I wanted to do to more deeply engage with my real life.
Luckily, my real life involves fulfilling work and time with loved ones, but it also involves things like chopping carrots, and washing dishes, and putting laundry away. You know, boring things. Lots of them. Prime activities for a nice distracting audiobook or reality TV show.
But I’ve found that when I abstain from those screens, my restless mind will hunt for interesting things elsewhere. So, while I wash dishes, I look out my kitchen window. Turns out, there are hummingbirds out there. And roses bushes. And pink clouds in a honey-colored sky. And breath.
When I’m bored enough, I’ll pay attention to the smell of carrots, and their bright orange color, and the feel of the knobby root under my fingers.
And the world seems to become more vibrant.
And I feel closer to it.
Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes it sucks. I’ve realized that I often turn on a podcast or show when I’m feeling something I don’t want to feel: regret, shame, anger, loneliness, (especially loneliness).
When I can’t just hit the play button, I have to actually pay attention to the feelings, turn toward them, and ask them what they are trying to tell me. And that is often not so comfy.
But, strangely, after a month off digital streaming, I felt like I reunited with an old friend—in myself. I also started reaching out to other friends more, and that has deepened my relationships. I felt noticeably happier, more grounded, less stressed.
All that said, a part of me is still really looking forward to when these four weeks are over and I can binge season 4 of Sex Education. But another part of me feels a little sad about turning away from the pink clouds and that old friend inside my skin, and worried about how I’m going to find more balance in it all.
I trust that with time, I’ll turn more and more often, toward the Truth.
Have you ever done, or wanted to do, a digital cleanse? Share your answer in Mother Den.
Danielle LaSusa Ph.D. is a Philosophical Coach, helping new moms grapple with what it means to make a person. She is the creator of The Meaning of Motherhood course, which explores the changes in identity, meaning, and wisdom that come with motherhood. To join her mailing list, subscribe here.
© Copyright Danielle LaSusa PhD, LCC, 2021. All rights reserved.
