At a conference panel I attended this past weekend, a group of women writers were discussing what happens to women who tell the truth about their lives. After publishing their books, these writers were asked, often in a scandalized tone: What do your children/parents/colleagues think? They noted that their male counterparts rarely seemed to be asked this question.
One panelist, memoirist Rebecca Woolf, was reflecting on how, as a little girl, she was given a diary with a padlock on it, as were many of her friends—as, I noted in the audience, was I. “When I was younger,” Woolf said, “I assumed that the padlock was there to protect me. But now I realize that the padlock was really there to protect everyone else.”
In my Meaning of Motherhood Course, I have claimed that when women and mothers speak the truth, expressing the whole of our humanity—our fears, selfishness, sexuality, desire, and love—we reject the patriarchy’s mandate to be flat, one-dimensional, silent. We demand wholeness. We refuse to play along.
The female storytellers I saw this weekend said that, despite anger, estrangement, public backlash, and even lawsuits, telling their truths was worth it. “Not speaking became more dangerous than speaking,” as one writer put it.
This Women’s History Month, with this year’s theme of “Celebrating Women Who Tell Our Stories,” I encourage you to think about whom and what your silence is protecting, and whom and what your truth will serve. A woman who tells the truth—whether it is in art, on social media, or just chatting with your friends—is engaging in act of resistance and courage. Those who can speak, ought to, particularly on behalf of those whose risk is too great.
Together, telling our stories, our truths, we can change the shape of the world.
When is a moment in which you told the truth about your life? What happened? Share your answer in Mother Den.
Danielle LaSusa Ph.D. is a Philosophical Coach, helping new moms grapple with what it means to make a person. She is the creator of The Meaning of Motherhood course, and co-creator and co-host of Think Hard podcast, which brings fun, accessible, philosophical thinking to the real world. To join her mailing list, subscribe here.
© Copyright Danielle LaSusa PhD, LCC, 2021. All rights reserved.
