Well, my Year of 40 is officially over! I had so many wonderful conversations with y’all about how to live deeply into our wild and precious lives. Thank you so much for sharing your stories with me.
And now, I am going to be 41 in a few days. (Time just keeps moving, doesn’t it?) One nice thing about a summer birthday it is that it offers a natural mid-year reflection point.
In looking back over my reflections on this year’s theme of “Truth,” I’m realizing that I’ve broken a cardinal rule in philosophical discourse, which is to start with definitions! What—you may be wondering—do I even mean by “Truth?”
As a philosopher, of course, I know that “truth” is a loaded word. It may be one of the most significant words in the history of philosophy, embedded in thousands of years of questions: What is true? Can we ever know the truth? If so, how? Is truth singular and absolute or plural and relative? Is the knowledge of truth helpful or harmful?
My selection of Truth as this year’s theme was instinctively bound up with a desire for awakening: an urge to be more fully present with my experience of life, without constantly needing to overlay it with extra interpretation and judgment. I just got so tired of my old broken record stories and my constant need for entertainment and distraction from them.
So, I’ve been operating from a very personal definition of truth, asking myself: What is true, for me, in this moment?
There are, of course, billions of things that are true for me in any moment, and my practice has been to pay more attention to just some of them: the sensations inside my body; the smells, colors, and sounds around me; the thoughts that flicker through my head; the desires that pull at my heart. I try to see them as a curious witness or observing scientist might see them, without getting sucked in, so I can see the truth of them more clearly.
Now, six months in to this Truth experiment, I’m noticing how much annoying self-talk I have and how little I’ve been paying attention to anything else. But, I’ve also gotten a little taste of how much bigger and more interesting life is beyond that constant inner chatter.
I’ve even started to have moments when I spontaneously just notice where I am and what I’m doing in a way that feels totally fresh, alive, immediate. It is like I’ve been given an unexpected celebration: Hey! You’re here! Isn’t it amazing?!
It usually lasts for about two seconds, and then that broken record starts skipping away again, but left behind is the promise that I could have more moments like that, that my life could feel that way more of the time.
So I keep asking myself: What is true? What is true? What is true?
What is true for you, in this moment? Share your answer in Mother Den.
Danielle LaSusa Ph.D. is a Philosophical Coach, helping new moms grapple with what it means to make a person. She is the creator of The Meaning of Motherhood course, which explores the changes in identity, meaning, and wisdom that come with motherhood. To join her mailing list, subscribe here.
© Copyright Danielle LaSusa PhD, LCC, 2021. All rights reserved.
